How do you feel about this? Exposed? Intruded upon? Questioning just why she is going through your stuff? I am thinking that if this were me, I would feel some of those things. I might feel like it was a bit of an invasion, both of me personally and of my privacy. I would definitely be a little taken a back by it and most likely a little confused as to just what she was doing.
In all of this, though, I have the ability and maturity to control both my actions and my words. I might politely ask just what I could do for my friend. I might ask just what she is looking for. I might even be able to offer assistance with whatever it is she seems to need. Yes, this behaviour would all seem very strange to me, but I am pretty sure I would be able to handle it with some amount of calm.
I sometimes have to play out these scenarios in my mind in order to better understand just what my little man is going through. As you know we have welcomed a little one into our home to join us on our homeschooling journey one day a week. We are only five weeks in, and to say I was a little deflated when she left yesterday afternoon would be an understatement.
Over the last five weeks we have had a wonderful time, the two kiddos have played quite well together on most occasions and for the most part is it working out very well. But there is one exception, my little man seems to be having a little trouble allowing her in to every part of his space, and by this I mean his stuff. And yesterday after a morning of co-operative and very imaginative play, the tides shifted and it was rough. Reece didn't want her to play with the farm animals, then when she wanted to play with something else, she couldn't play with that either. It seemed anything she wanted to play with, he decided it was not to be played with.
As you can imagine this was tough on both little ones. My little one struggling with the reality of someone in his space using all of his stuff and the other little one just trying to find her place in our home.
And so as I laid with Reece last night, holding him as he fell asleep, I closed my eyes and imagined how I would feel. And you know what, I get it. I really do. I expected him to open his space, his room, to this little one. To let her in and play with whatever she wanted. And while, yes I do want him to understand the idea of making someone feel welcome, I do understand where he is coming from and what a struggle this must be for him. Without the words to fully describe what he is feeling and the maturity to understand it, my little man is struggling with this reality.
Slowly that deflated feeling started to lift. Slowly I recognized just how difficult this was for him. Slowly I came to understand a little more how much we, both he and I, have to learn on this journey. And the growth, oh the growth we are both experiencing as we move through and along this path.
Finding our balance in this won't be easy, I know that. Today I will share with Reece my observations from my quiet time as he fell asleep last night, I will ask him how he is feeling about all of this and then we will sort through it, one step at a time. I know it still won't be easy in the coming weeks, there is still a huge learning curve for both of us, but gaining this perspective, understanding a little more what life is like in his little world, and working together on solutions, we will get there, and our relationship will be that much stronger on the other side.