Friday, November 21, 2014

Watching You




I stood at the window, watching you. It was the first time you had asked to go outside by yourself. After lunch you asked, "Can I go outside?" "Sure," I replied, "Give me a minute and we will bundle up and head out." "I can go by myself," you said. "Oh, okay," I replied, a little surprised. So I helped, when asked, to get you in your winter gear, and you happily ran out the door. You headed straight for the shovel and soon our yard had become a maze of pathways, created by you. I saw your lips moving, maybe you were talking to yourself, or singing. I can't say for sure. You worked hard, pushing, lifting and moving the snow. Every once in a while you stopped, to catch your breath, push back your hat, and look around. You seemed pleased with your work. After quite some time, you stopped, dropped the shovel and headed to the workshop. You opened the door and called your dad. With the biggest smile you brought him out to show off your work, with much pride. I could feel your excitement over this accomplishment.

Inside, I walked away from the window, I popped some popcorn, made tea, and grabbed the latest book we are reading together. It was all ready, on the coffee table. I sat, patiently waiting. I wanted to call you in, I look forward to our reading time, but I didn't want to interrupt your work. So I waited. It wasn't long before the door opened with a crash, and you came bustling in, smiling. Together we stripped away the winter layers, and you headed right for the sofa, claiming your spot and a bowl of popcorn. I snuggled in beside you, and we started to read. I read the title of the chapter, and just before I started the first sentence you looked up at me and said "I love you." And at that moment I felt so much love, my heart was overflowing, and I couldn't help but look down at you, and smile, and tell you just how much I love you too.

54 comments:

  1. I love "spying" like this. We have a fenced yard and I can easily see/hear K from the kitchen window, so he often goes out while dinner is cooking. It's so fun to watch what they do when they're imagining and working on their own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was the best Meryl. He doesn't often like to be out there on his own, and if he does, it is only a few minutes before he calls for me to come out. It was a joy to just watch him, focused on what he wanted to accomplish, and so proud when we was done.

      Delete
  2. Your boy is growing up... :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Anke, he is. In some ways a little bitter sweet, but let me tell you, it is amazing to witness, and makes me so very grateful to be walking his path with him. I am so blessed that he chose me.

      Delete
  3. this is bitter sweet to me, he needs you and yet he is slowly becoming his independent self. I think as mothers we will always spy on them to watch and see how they are. When my daughter and fiance are here I watch and ponder. I see such good things and I am soothed knowing all is okay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A little for me too Karen. It is tough to let go, to watch him grow in his independence, but it is lovely to watch as well. I feel like everything is unfolding as it should, at his pace, and that feels pretty darn good. It is a wonderful journey, this motherhood thing, and I am so grateful to be his mom.

      Delete
  4. Just absolutely one of my favorite post! I live for those little moments and my huband and I just had this same thing, we stood at the window watching our oldest son work on a project, just singing or chatting away have the time of his life. Kaleb and I at the window tears streaming down our cheeks at what an amazing kid he is. Anyway, I just loved this!

    www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe, thank you. These little moments are the stuff a good life is made of, and like you, we are so happy to be able to live this slow, simple life so we can soak them up.

      Sounds like you have a pretty awesome little man there.
      xo

      Delete
  5. What a beautiful moment to capture. Thank you for sharing. xo

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a sweet, sweet moment! Those precious ones get stored up for sure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh they do Alexa, stored deep in the memory bank, and in my heart. xo

      Delete
  7. so beautiful Kim...you are so blessed !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Erica, I am, and I know it.

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. It was really lovely. And I so enjoyed just watching him.

      Delete
  9. Kim, what an amazing thing. He went out and cleared the way for your family all of his own accord. That shows that he has love and respect for his family and wants to take care of it. Oh this is powerful stuff. Wonderful, wonderful! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you my friend. It is little moments like this that give me that little boost, that maybe, just maybe, I am doing something right on this journey. xo

      Delete
  10. oh! this is so lovely. so glad i added you to my feed. i have four children now (ages 3-10), and many times it's not so easy to remember to stop and watch. often i'm "listening" to a sweet moment between two siblings while helping another with something... or listening to some very engaged pretend play :) it's always so beautiful though... watching them spread their wings.... no matter what the age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jenny. I am not sure how you found me, but I am glad you did. I can imagine it is not easy with four little ones running around, to always stop and watch, but even those little moments when you catch a glimpse of them in their play is wonderful. It is those tiny moments that make our hearts smile.

      Beautiful, yes, in so many ways.

      Delete
  11. That is so special and beautiful. When my little guy says he's ready to go out on his own I hope I'm ready to let him. Have a blessed weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend. It took me off guard, as he doesn't usually like to be out there on his own. I have to admit it was lovely to just stand back and watch, to see him in his own world, doing his thing. Made my mama heart soar.

      Thank you, I wish the same for you. xo

      Delete
  12. Tears came to my eyes at the last part. I am sure it must have seemed weird not being with him but at least you can watch him.
    On a side note- I think I just bought the same snow suit for Harkin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe, that is sweet. Didn't mean for that to happen, it is those pregnancy hormones :) It was a little weird, but watching him was lovely too.

      It is a great snowsuit, this will be his second year wearing it. It holds up very well to all the time we spend outside, and all the fun Reece likes to have.

      Delete
  13. I agree with Jenny! Having three little ones (ages 20 mos-almost 5) bustling around all the time makes it difficult to have these moments, because when they are happening, someone else is needing you. But, that said, there are lots of times when all three are outside and I am trying to cram in some more housework. I do take the time to watch them all--I love the way they problem solve and love each other when I'm not around, I can't believe what they are capable of! Still, It is a good reminder to cherish these moments that will never come again. Thank you! This little picture of the two of you snuggled up on the couch is so touching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only imagine the difficulties that come with mothering more than one, and I take my hats off to those of you who do it :) It is amazing to watch them, to see how they work, and what captures their attention.

      Sometimes I get a little sad, that moments like these are fleeting, never to come again. But I remind myself that their will be new moments, new experiences, and as long as I am here, in the moment, with him, I can cherish them and soak them up.

      Thank you. xo

      Delete
  14. P.S. Not just pregnancy hormones, I teared up as well. Any parent knows the magic of a moment like this!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I felt like I was there watching all this unfold Kim, just beautiful. Letting go, but still being close if needed is on of those bittersweet mama moments and you are living it with such grace. Much love.
    XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Tracey, thank you. Hearing those words from an experienced mama makes me so happy. Big hugs. xo

      Delete
  16. Ack! Kim, you just made my heart sing! Thank you so much for sharing this special little moment from your day. I was just watching my girls the other day and thinking how wonderful everything was right at the moment. These little moments make an ordinary day, extraordinary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that is lovely to hear :) You nailed it with that last line, I couldn't agree more. xo

      Delete
  17. I love this Kim. I really do. I don't think there is anything more I can say, but simply BEAUTIFUL.

    Thanks for sharing. Reece is growing fast!

    ReplyDelete
  18. How beautiful. Thanks for sharing :) Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Carrie, wishing the same for you. xo

      Delete
  19. <3 This is all so sweet, thanks for sharing. Your heart must be so full. What a sweet little boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Carlin. I feel very honoured to be his mother, he is more than I ever imagine (although I am sure the same goes for any mother).

      Delete
  20. Hi there Kim, I just like it very much how you use your words to describe this feeling. The best is you mad me feel what happened, isn't this just what parenting is about? Worldwide, as I am here in Hollans, relating to you there in the US. Don't you just love how they help and participate in the whole household just from inside their own being. Great to have a child that knows how to help and make himself usefull, while enjoying life at the same time. I find these the best moments, when I am busy housekeeping and my daughter says, mum can I vacuum clean? Or how my little son, 3 yrs, asks for a wet cloth outside when I clean the windows. Working and playing, developing their independance and judgements and that all together as a family. You helped me to go back to my feelings about parenting again and made me see that I am doing okay. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all the things offered in the Big World to our children and I feel like keeping it small and in the family, you gave me the feeling I am on the right way. Thank you so much for that! Love Patricia (I feel a funny and great sort of connection with you, since reading your delightful blog, thanx for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh goodness you are making me tear up Patricia. You are doing okay, we all are. As moms we are so hard on ourselves, but we have to look past that and see what our children are really becoming, and how they are growing. We could spend all day beating ourselves up about our mistakes, but then we would miss it, those sweet spots, the ones that say, yes you are doing this, and you are doing it well. The big world can overwhelm me too, it is why I have to focus on the little things, if not my mind would never stop, and I would miss moments like this.

      I am so happy this post brought all of this forward to you, it truly makes my heart sing. And thank you for those last words, that my friend is wonderful, and makes me so happy I started writing here. Finding connection, and friends is something I never expected with this little space. It has surprised me and filled my life with some really wonderful people. Thank you. xo

      Delete
  21. This one made my eyes prickle with tears X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe, sorry Sally, but thank you. xo

      Delete
  22. What a precious moment, Kim. He is growing so strong and independent...but how wonderful that he knows he can always come home to your warm and waiting arms. Simply lovely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Courtney. I think what you say makes it a less bittersweet to watch him growing up, knowing he is secure in the fact that I am always waiting and he can always come home :)

      Delete
  23. Beautifully put. Your sentiments echoed so much of what I have been feeling with my kids are they grow up, and wanting to treasure and capture those special moments of connection with them. (Also, the snow! Oh, we're a bit jealous!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Angela. The snow, it was lovely while it lasted. Warmer temperatures and rain have melted most of it, but we know more will come again soon :)

      Delete
  24. Great writing - I felt like I was there.
    Little events like this are so great aren't they? Watching your little guy go out on his own, make his mark on the world, and talk to himself the whole time. I have a five year old little guy who does the exact same thing. It's awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Matt. These moments are the best, and sort of give me a little hint at the man he will one day be, and that makes me so very proud.

      Delete
  25. What a great helper you have!! Nothing better then those three words from your child to melt your heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is pretty awesome :) And yes, I agree, I can never hear them enough.

      Delete