Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mindful Mothering


Mindful: bearing in mind; attentive to

 Mindfulness: the trait of staying aware of (paying close attention to) your responsibilities


If ever two words were meant to go together Mothering and Mindfulness are it. For me mothering has brought about many personal challenges, changes and growth. It has offered me more than I ever could have imagined, and one of those is a more mindful approach to life, and in turn mothering.

Mindfulness brings us into each and every moment, ready to experience life in the here and now. Since becoming a mother I have found simple joy in many of life’s daily tasks by simply being present and giving my full attention to what I am doing. It could be cooking dinner, doing the dishes, folding laundry or sitting here writing a blog post. I am present to the task at hand.


This mindfulness has brought about changes in our home. First of all, I have changed my work schedule to accommodate the fact that when Reece is up and about I cannot be mindful about my work. It is just too hard. He wants me, as he should and my mind is not focused on anything except frustration.  It has mostly been this way since I became a mom, but every once in a while I would try to sneak in some work, you know when he was playing quietly, I would sneak over and try to answer a few emails, write a quick post or work on a protocol. But every time, he would come over shortly after and jump up on my lap. Giving my full attention to Reece was just not possible when I was trying to give attention to work. So, work now gets done in the morning before he wakes up, and then later in the evening after he goes to bed.  There are some afternoons when Reece and Justin get up to some fun outside and I head over to my little space to do some work, but that doesn’t happen often. The result, during the day I am in the moment with Reece, following him on his journey, learning alongside him about the world. By night, I write, answer emails, blog, read other blogs, work on client protocols, study, knit, read, and sew and so on.


Mindfulness has deepened my connection with nature, as many of you are aware. I have always craved time in nature and enjoyed how being in nature makes me feel, but I never truly appreciated it until I become mindful.  When Reece and I head into the forest, when we go for a hike, when we walk up the road or when we play in the yard I notice things I didn’t notice before. Animal prints, plants that have been trampled, fungus growing in odd places, the sound of the birds, the scamper of tiny animal feet, the way the wood peckers have created holes in the trees, the wood chips left from the porcupine who has been up in the tree and so on.  I am more aware and present and I can’t tell you how much that changes a walk in the woods for both Reece and I.


Mindfulness has created in me knowledge that this present moment is only temporary. The next moment is coming and it can and will be completely different. We all know mothering is not all happy moments and cuddles, there are moments that challenge us to our core, moments which force us to look deep to find the calm, but by being mindful, by being here in the present, even when it is tough, I have come to realize I can get through it, I can allow these moments to happen and then fade away, ready for the next moment to occur.


Mindfulness has changed my life, both as mother and as an individual. It has brought me here, to this space...to share, to learn, to grow. This space is my mindful journey with Reece. Each time I come here to share, I am reminded how both mothering and mindfulness have changed my life. 

And for that, I am grateful.

25 comments:

  1. Your moments are a beautiful place to be. Lovely post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think that is one of the best gifts you can give your self and Reece, being mindful and being present. Lovely post today.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you speak for a lot of mothers with this post. It resonates with my heart. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Melissa, that means a lot to me.

      Delete
  4. Inspiring words! This is something that I struggle with so much. I know that I need to balance my time as a mama so that Silas gets my full attention, but I also need to carve out time to do the things that I'm passionate about. Trying to do a little bit here and a little bit there leaves me feeling like all tasks (and people!) get short-changed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Courtney. Balance is so tricky, isn't it? I have to admit I don't have the secret, I just try to do my best. There are days when there just isn't enough time in the day for me and my passions, when that happens I try to find time to make up for it. It is usually late at night, or early in the morning, but at least it is something.

      Delete
  5. What a lovely post. I am envious of you, as although I have changed a lot since I have become a mother, I have not learned to live in the moment 100% of the time. I am still stealing moments of work when both children are playing quietly or doing 5 minutes of sewing here and there. I keep wishing that I could give myself over 100% to my kids (when they are awake), but then I feel like I would never sleep. I am hoping that over time, I will find a rhythm more like you have. I know that my children are only little once.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. It is hard, and there are times when I am not in the moment. The key for me has been becoming aware of those times, and bringing myself back to the moment. And of course, making my schedule work for my family. I will admit it is not an easy schedule, there are some nights I am up working late, not getting the time I need/want for the other things I want to do. I then make a conscious effort to carve out the time. I try really hard not to work on weekends, using Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings for me - long baths, reading, knitting, sewing and of course time with my hubby. Knowing that is coming on the weekend makes my early mornings and late nights worth it. It won't work for everyone, but for now, it works for me.

      Delete
  6. Beautiful words! I think we all get caught up in our daily to dos and sometimes it is good to be mindful with our actions and thoughts! Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  7. this rings so true. every time i think the kids are playing or reading, occupied and well, i sneak off to do an email or balance the checkbook and like clockwork, they pop up...something to say, something they need. luckily there is naptime and night time :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Night time only for me, my little man stopped napping at 14 months. He takes after his mama, he doesn't seem to need a lot of sleep. I should mention though he is in bed by 7pm and sleeps until at least 7pm, sometimes longer. His early bed time gives me a large chunk of time at night, which is why at this point things are working out really well.

      Delete
  8. I love this post, Kim!! I am going to make sure to come back to this and read it often. Reece is so lucky to have a present and mindful mama like you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kelly, that means a lot. I actually think I am the lucky one, my journey towards a more mindful life began the moment Reece choose me as his mama. He has taught me so much, and for that I am grateful.

      Delete
  9. I think it's too easy to pass by the same area and not to take notice of all the changes and life around you. My daughter and I (we both love photography) often say that there are different kinds of walks. Walks for walking (exercise), walks for strolling (and studying) and walks for photographing (which means you really don't walk very far at all!).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that Ellen. Since connecting on a deeper level with nature, I can say this is so true. I am amazed at what I now hear and see that I missed before. Part of that is slowing down to toddler pace when Reece and I are out exploring, but I find when I head out on my own into nature my awareness is at a much deeper level too.

      Delete
  10. Wonderful post and such lovely thoughts. It's so hard to balance everything and be mindful, but in the end that is the most important part. How great that motherhood enhances that gift!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gretchen. It is hard, but so worth it.

      Delete
  11. Being here. Now. Is the greatest gift. Our littles thank us with every moment they don't have to spend trying to get our attention.
    Love this post Kim. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete