Thursday, October 2, 2014
Reclaiming My Mornings
Mornings...my favourite part of the day. Before Reece, I was a morning person. The alarm would go off a few mornings a week at 4:30am so I could make it to 5:30am swim practice. If I wasn't up for swim practice, I was up for a run, or a bike ride. And some mornings were set aside for a little quiet "me time". Justin is not a morning person, so I always had the early morning to myself, which I loved.
Then I became a mom. Reece was what I call a cluster feeder. He would start nursing around 4am each morning, and nurse on and off until about 7am. Of course, that meant morning "me time" was a thing of the past. Truthfully, I didn't worry too much about it, I realized that this was just a small part of my journey, and if I had to give up my mornings for my little man, well, I was okay with that. That is not to say I didn't miss them, but I was okay with missing them.
What I didn't realize was that Reece would go on to nurse for quite some time. His evening, through the night and morning feeds were the ones he clung to. It was around the beginning of this year that he gave up the middle of the night feedings and the morning feed. Can I tell you how wonderful it was to sleep through the night? I bet you know exactly how wonderful that was. And no more morning feeds. But we were (and still are) co-sleeping, so now that I could get out of bed in the early quiet darkness of our home, my light sleeper made that a little difficult. I would use every acrobatic move I could think of to wriggle my way out of bed, and tip toe out of the room. I would make it to the kitchen, get the kettle plugged in, and then hear "Mom" from across the house. And so back to bed to snuggle I would go. I would try to sneak out again, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
It was sometime in mid-May, as Reece began what I believe is the six/seven year transformation, our breastfeeding relationship ended. He was still sleeping through the night, and all of a sudden his morning sleep was much deeper. I was able to quietly get up, walk out of the room, and spend a bit of time alone in our home.
I was in heaven. The journal came out, and I wrote as I enjoyed my hot water and lemon. I squeezed in a little exercise and meditation, and moved my afternoon runs back to the morning. I was able to check in with emails, read a few blogs, and sometimes write a post. The kettle would be put back on, a cup of tea made, and I would get ready for the day. By the time my little man tip toed out of bed, I was dressed and completely ready to start the day.
I have reclaimed my mornings, and I can't tell you how wonderful that is, although I am sure some of you know exactly how I feel. I have to admit, I have been a bit hesitant to write about this, you know, jinxing it and all, but after 4 months, we have fallen into a nice rhythm with it, and I think sharing here today will be okay (but I do have my fingers crossed). He did wake up at 5:30am yesterday morning, shortly after I got up, and has done that a few times. Most times I can convince him it is still night time, and he will fall back to sleep. Not yesterday morning. But he did get dressed, and then came out to the sofa and sat quietly finger knitting while I finished my exercise and meditation, and did a few preparations for our day. And so, as with most things on my mothering journey, there will be an ebb and flow to this new rhythm, and I am perfectly okay with that.
Are you a morning person?