Monday, September 16, 2013
I have called myself by many names in the past...dance teacher, triathlon coach, conditioning coach, personal trainer, sports nutritionist, holistic nutritionist, writer, doula and finally mother. When Reece was first born people would ask what I did, I would answer that I was a nutritionist. After a few years the answer was nutritionist, writer and doula. But lately the answer is simply mother.
The last few years have seen a shift in my work schedule. Some of that shift has been by choice, some of it circumstance, but whatever the reason it has been a shift I have welcomed.
You see being a mother is all I want. Being with my little man, enjoying him and his journey, seeing life through his eyes and experiencing motherhood to its fullest extent is where my heart is. It is only recently I have come to this full realization. As things have shifted over the last few years, as work slowed down, life took me on a different course. A course of learning to live with less, of being very careful with our budget, of living life with what we have and reassessing whether we need or want the things we are buying. It is different to live life this way, it is sometimes a struggle, and it creates a strength in us I could never have imagined. It is powerful and constantly has us looking at our life and assessing what is working and what is not.
As I have stepped fully into motherhood with my entire being, I am at peace. I am happy to answer the question what do you do with a response of "I am a mother". It if fulfilling to me on so many levels and brings much light and love to my days.
Yes, some of those days are not easy. Living on one income, struggling with bills, but at the end of each day there is a long list of gratitude. I sit with that gratitude and I smile. Yes, life could be completely different if I stepped out of our home and worked, but it is not a life we, as a family, want. This is our life, we are living it, full on and even though there are days we might question our sanity in regards to this decision, at the end of the day we are happy, we have all the things we need and we are surrounded by wonderful people, both family and friends. What more could we ask for?
So I am choosing motherhood as I move forward on my journey. It may be something you already knew, but it has taken me awhile to come to the full realization that this is what I have been choosing over the last few years. And maybe, it has taken me this long to be okay with that.