Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Discovery


Things around here have been exciting. When I say exciting, I mean I am having a great time discovering me, or maybe I should say re-discovering me. After being in a relationship for the last 24 years I am stepping out of who I used to be, or who I was expected to be, and stepping into who I am, and who I want to be. This is not to say that I have not been “me” but that “me” was always attached to someone else, and well, now it isn’t.

I find it hard to put into words what is going on, except to say I am finding bits of me that have been tucked away for a long time, and as those bits of me come to the surface I am enjoying the act of combining them with the current me. A few weeks ago I shared that I felt like the old me was back, and that is true, but it's a different old me, it's a me with experience, a me that has learned many lessons on this journey.

I will be the first to admit that over the last four or five years I have enjoyed stepping out of the labels that once use to follow me, and have chosen to uncover the layers of who I am without those labels. That process has given me courage and confidence to put the real me out there, and it has always felt good. But now, with a major life change tossed my way, more layers are being chipped away, slowly and intentionally, and what is being discovered is a new version of me. None of it feels drastic, although some in my life might make it seem that way. Instead I am asking the questions what makes me happy now, and what will make me happy as I move forward, and those answers are leading me to make changes. 

Many people are afraid of change, but at this stage in my life, with all the changes I have been through already, change feels kind of freeing, and maybe it is that way because these changes are on my terms. I am making active, intentional choices, and after not having a choice in the end of my marriage, it feels good to take control again.

35 comments:

  1. It's like a conscious revival of yourself more aware of your strengths and your true potential, with nothing to fear or hide ... Continue on your way my friend, I think you are on the right track . Love and light

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, yes, yes!!!!! Thank you my friend. xo

      Delete
  2. This sounds good. I think the rediscovered you is going to have a pretty great life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so very proud of you! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you my friend. Having you in my corner through all of this has been awesome. xo

      Delete
  4. Good for you, Kim. I'm very glad this has been a time of self-discovery for you. It's good to see you embracing your new life and following your heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jennifer. It feels good, and definitely adds to the happiness factor in my life these days :)

      Delete
  5. I admire your courage and openess to the new path you are on! Different things hold us back sometimes for a long time and the feeling of freedom and satisfaction when we shake them off ourselves is very good. I hope my thoughts of encouragement make it all the way over the sea as well as the ones of happiness! Take care Kim! You are a very brave woman!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Karin-Ida, thank you for your sweet and kind words. I can feel the encouragement..thank you!!!!!

      Delete
  6. It seems like this stage of life we're all in (urgh, middle age?) is a good time to reevaluate who we are and who we've been and who we want to be. Raising kids is so often a moment-by-moment endeavor that you lose sight of the big picture and then one day you wake up, like, where am I and where do I want to go with this life?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such a good time for re-evaluation, and I see from your post you have been doing the same :) I agree with you about losing sight of the big picture as we move through these early parenting days, it is such a full on journey, and as they get older little bits of our old selves creep back in, and we begin to question who we are, and where we are going. It's all good though, good things come when we ask ourselves those questions.

      Delete
  7. I sat aside my knitting to peek in on your goings-on and read this. :) I so enjoy the way you put things, how you are able to turn lemons into lemonade. Inspiring. Happy peeling, my friend! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you my friend. Such sweet and kind words. xo

      Delete
  8. such a good post and what an affirmation to know ourselves individually while being with someone else or not. When the kids moved out, I've discovered the old me, the current me, and the future me. I've been surprised by many discoveries along the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Karen. Yes, I bet that is a huge time of re-discovery for most people, and I am sure it will be for me too.

      Delete
  9. What a great outlook. It's nice to hear you are excited and moving forward, not dwelling. Looking forward to hearing about what other great things the future brings you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Matt. No dwelling at all, I am moving forward, happily and excited about what lies ahead.

      Delete
  10. Your words made me smile Kim, I'm glad you are happy.
    There are many changes going on here, as for now I am
    just trying to hang on, hopefully soon I will be able to
    embrace these changes with grace. Much love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tracey. Change can be so hard, hang on my friend, it will get easier, and I know you will be able to embrace all that comes your way. Sending you much love. xo

      Delete
  11. This is such a good blog post! Change = growth and that's always a good thing. I'm happy you're rediscovering your old and new you. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anke. And yes, change and growth go hand in hand, and right now that is a very good thing for me.

      Delete
  12. You are such a beautiful soul. Keep chipping. I wish nothing but the best for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, that means a lot coming from you my friend. xo

      Delete
  13. This post just makes my heart sing. I'm so happy you have found yourself again, stronger and happier. That just means the world to me. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks my friend. Life is moving along nicely right now, and I am so happy with this new path I am walking. xo

      Delete
  14. Wow - 24 years - that is such a long time! I know what you mean about change - I used to fear it more, until it just kept happening and it somehow became more freeing - and then I started to crave it deep inside. I'm glad you are feeling good. And THANK YOU so much for the birthday package - it made my day and I just love all of it. You should get my package (ours, really) in a couple days if not already with a more detailed letter inside. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, over half my life. Thanks my friend, I am feeling well, and happy.

      You are most welcome, glad to hear it arrived. I will keep my eye out for it :)

      xo

      Delete
  15. How great to find bits of your old self. Sounds like things are really getting back on track. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been an interesting journey my friend, and one that I am enjoying. Yes, things are getting back on track, and life is good. So many wonderful things happening in my world, and I am doing my best to soak them up.

      Delete
  16. i love the way you describe finding yourself again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, it has been an interesting journey, and one I will forever remember. It feels good, and I am happy.

      Delete