The leaves are gone, my friends, and we have had our first snowfall. It was magical, and pretty, and reminded me why I love the shifting seasons so much.
It is not only seasons that shift, but we do too, and lately I have been shifting. The shift feels good, and has me feeling centered and grounded in a way I haven't been for quite some time. The shift began a few weeks ago when I attended a women's retreat. During that weekend I dove deep into my truth, and peeled back more of the layers to find me. It's a process, discovering who you really are, finding the woman who is hiding under all the "stuff" we are told we need to be. It's been interesting, healing and inspiring.
Can I share with you how incredible a women's retreat is? It was my first one, and while I circle with my tribe of women monthly, and I have an amazing network of friends who love and support me, the retreat was a totally different experience. To be offered a sacred space to work out what's deep inside, to be held by beautiful women as you move through a range of emotions, to be able to cry, laugh, scream, dance, and feel safe doing so....that is an incredible feeling and one I think every woman should experience at least once in her lifetime. I know, without a doubt, I will be doing another retreat.
Life on the homestead is full. There are still chickens roaming around, a dog, a cat and her two litters of kittens and the various wild animals that wander around. It's fun, and exciting, and very funny at times. My little man loves it, and for that reason alone it is worth it.
For the last five months I have had a pile of garbage, a large pile of garbage, sitting on my driveway as I clean out space here on my land. When you live in a space for a long time stuff piles up. Now most of this stuff was indeed waste that should have been tossed a long time ago, but it wasn't and was left to pile up in the garage. And so slowly it has been cleaned out, and garbage piled, waiting for the day when I could have it collected. Well that day came last week, and I can't begin to tell you how freeing it was to have it all taken away. It was amazing, and I now have my driveway back.
Cleaning up this land and space is a process, creating what I want here takes time, but I have dreams and visions of what this space will become, of what it will offer, not only to my little man and myself, but all those that come here to share in our journey. It's exciting to think about the plans, to dream and I know it will be exciting to bring it all to fruition.
I continue to work and live here on the homestead. Four days a week I have kiddos here, and together we learn and grow. We wander the woods, we keep nature journals, we craft, we play, we learn how to get along with others, we share stories, and we have fun. My little man is blessed with an amazing group of children that share in his days, and I am grateful for that. On the weekends I offer circles for young girls, mentoring them as they transition from childhood to young womanhood. I can't share how gratifying this work is....it fills my heart and soul with such joy. I am ever so grateful to the families that allow me to walk this path with their daughters. And here and there I still offer workshops on various topics including soap making, herbal medicine, self care product making and more, and I continue to sell the products I make. I am passionate about all of it, and while it is the way I support my little man and myself, I am hard pressed to call it work.
Did you know boys eat a lot? Like.....a lot. There are days I wonder where he puts all the food he eats. Last night we had dinner, he ate every last bit of food on his plate....which by the way was homemade pizza, homemade sauerkraut and pickles, and a cucumber salad....and not even five minutes after getting up from the table, asked for a snack. I am not kidding. And he is only nine! What's gonna happen when he is a teenager.
We celebrated Martinmas on the weekend, one of my favourite festivals. We made our lanterns, and together the two of us lit them, sang our lantern song and shared the story of St. Martin. Our lanterns still sit on our dining room table, shining bright, reminding us that our inner light is strong and that we need to shine it bright during this dark time of the year.
I am grateful. For various reasons, which I cannot share in this space, life has been hard, but I am here. I am staying true to who I am in this beautiful mess called life. I am living my truth, and sharing my passions with others. I wake every day happy to be where I am, to be living this life, to be sharing my gifts. I have an amazing son who reminds me every day what a blessing it is to be alive and to be a mother. I have the most incredible tribe of women who love me and support me. I have a loving family who has stepped up and helped in ways I will never forget. This life, my life, is messy, it is hard, but it's mine and I couldn't be happier or more grateful for this path and the lessons I am learning along the way.