There is not a day, not one day, that I don’t wake up feeling lucky. I know that might sound strange, but it is true. Every day as I open my eyes and I look over at the beautiful sleeping boy beside me I feel lucky. Lucky to be a mother, lucky to be the one he chose, lucky to walk his path with him, side by side, hand in hand. Our days together make my heart happy, and when he laughs, goodness I think my heart might burst. His smile lights up his face, and his eyes, oh his eyes, they say so much, and have the ability to look deep inside my soul. He is so full of life right now, every bit of him vibrating with energy that fills a room. He is eager to learn, taking on more responsibility, and slowly growing into an amazing young man.
Now don’t get me wrong, we do have our off moments, when we are both tugging at opposite ends of the rope, trying hard to meet in the middle and not succeeding. Those moments are tough, but they are also the ones that teach both of us the most, about ourselves and each other. You see I had no idea how to be a mother when Reece came into my life, I mean no idea. Yes, I had a wonderful mother, and I had watched many mothers over the years, but nothing prepares you for the actual moment when that baby is placed in your arms and you become a mother. But Reece has been my guide, showing me what he needs, and how best to care for him. At times I feel like I don’t live up to what he needs, I think that is common on this mothering journey. I question, sometimes more than I should, my capacity to be the mother he truly needs. But at the end of the day, when we snuggle into bed to read, and to go over our day, sharing our best and not so best moments, and I watch as he slowly, peacefully drifts off to sleep, it is then, right at the moment when his eyes get heavy, and his breathing changes, right then, that I know I am doing okay.
I am lucky to be a mother, lucky to call this amazing little man my son, and so very lucky to witness the amazing journey he is on, by his side, cheering him on, watching, with pride and so much love, as he changes and grows before my eyes.