Friday, November 13, 2015

New Moon Beginnings


It seems appropriate that as the new moon rises this week, a moon which represents an opportunity to start anew, to refresh dreams, and to set intentions, that I share with you the new chapter I am starting.

I will not share too many details, as this story is not only mine to tell, but also Justin's. What I will share with you is that Justin came to me at the beginning of October to tell me that he was leaving.

Yes, I was shocked, upset, angry, scared, bitter...you name the emotion and over the last six weeks I have felt it. No, our marriage wasn't perfect, but nothing in this life is. It needed work, it needed care, it needed time, but those things only help when both parties are committed to working towards a common goal. Sadly, it didn't work out that way.

So, here I stand, a new moon rising, and a new beginning for Reece and I. I won't lie, there are moments when I am absolutely terrified, but throughout this there have also been moments of hope, hope for the possibility that stretches out before us. I know this new and different path we walk together won't be easy, gosh it has already been so tough, but I also know that life does go on, one moment, one step, one day at a time, and together the two of us will move forward, hand in hand.

*******

In the photo above are the lanterns we made this week to celebrate Martinmas.

86 comments:

  1. Thinking of you through the next new stage. Much love and light for you and R. You have got this, your an amazing person and momma.

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  2. My friend ... I can not find the words to express you all the comfort and supports the I would like to bring you. Know anyway I admire your strength and your ability to take the best of everything. Love, light and tenderness. xo

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    1. You just found the words my friend, thank you. xo

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  3. Oh Kim. My heart goes out to you as I am also on this path...although it was me who left. Much love to you from afar. Please know you're both in my thoughts especially right now. xo

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    1. Thanks Leisa. I had wondered if we were on a similar path, both from your posts and your letter. I appreciate your thoughts and know that I too am thinking of you. xo

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  4. You know we have been praying for you and thinking of you constantly over the last few weeks. You guys are string enough to navigate these waters, I know you guys will shine. And although we are a few hours away, again, I'll say it : ANYTHING you guys need that we can help with, just let us know. We look forward to seeing you in a few weeks and truly starting the very new year with you. Much love dear friend, from all 4 of us. xox

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    1. I have so appreciated your support over the last few weeks Yanic, you have no idea how much it has helped. I will be sure to let you know.

      We can't wait to see you in a few weeks. Reece is excited, and I honestly can't wait to celebrate the New Year with you guys. We are going to have so much fun!

      xo

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  5. While I don't even know you, in reading this blog I feel as if I sort of do and so I send you hugs and encouragement. You seem to be a strong wonderful women and mother and will shine through this for your son. Wishing you all the best on your journey forward.

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    1. Thank you Michelle, for taking the time to comment, and for your kind words. Blogging brings us into each others worlds, and it feels good at this time to have the support of my "friends" who are out there.

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    2. I can only echo Michelle's words. I don't know you except through your blog, but I admire what you are working towards, for yourself and your son. Good luck to you... every ending, however painful, is also a beginning.
      Sophie

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    3. Oh Sophie, you have brought tears to my eyes this afternoon, thank you for your lovely words, and for the very encouraging message. It is so true, and as of yet, I hadn't thought of it that way, so thank you so very much. I am grateful for this message today.

      xo

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  6. Sending you hugs, love & support <3

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  7. Sending you lots of light and love as you embark down this uncharted path. ((((hugs))))) xo

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  8. Dear Friend, My heart reaches out to you. I wish I could give you a big hug. If there is anything I may do from this far away please let me know.

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    1. Aw, Rosemarie, thank you so much. I will definitely shout out if there is anything you can do. If there is one thing this whole ordeal has taught me, it is that asking for help is okay. It has always been hard for me, but suddenly it has become much easier.

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  9. kim, I'm praying for you. I know you have the strength and resilience to weather through this life challenge. I am sad to read this post, you are the NICEST person ever and I cannot believe this is happening.

    I hope you still keep your local nature working goals going and I pray you are surrounded by strength.

    Take care :)

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    1. Thank you Karen, you are so sweet.

      Yes, Life at Nature's Pace will still go on, and in fact I loaded the winter workshops last week to the site. Reece and I are staying in our home, and plan to continue on much the same path as before, except it will just be the two of us.

      xo

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  10. I am so terribly sorry, Kim. I wish I had words to ease your pain. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Like you said, marriage can be really difficult. Grieve, be angry, cry and laugh. You are allowed. It is all part of the process. Earlier this year I was on a very similar path as you are now, and while it has changed course, I can appreciate how scared you are. Cherish those moments of peace and light with the knowing they will become more frequent as time passes. Thinking of you and Reece. xo

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    1. Hello my friend, so nice to hear from you. Thank you for your very kind words, and for sharing your own experience. xo

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  11. Dear Kim,

    I send you much love and wishes for comfort and peace.

    I am long overdue with a letter to you about the story here, but as is yours it is not mine alone to tell.

    Hugs and love to Reece too.

    Jodie

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    1. Hello Jodie, thank you for touching base, and thank you for your kind words. I will look forward to your letter, when you are ready.

      xo

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  12. Oh Kim, I'm so sorry that life is not so kind with you those days (if I can speak like that). I wish I could be there and hug you and drink a warm tea with you and speak (or not if you do not want) but just be there. How could I be supportive for you? How can I help? I know that my words are surelly not enough and that is not an easy period for you and Reece. But I'm sure your love will help a lot to care for your new-centered family life together, both of you. I did divorced 12 years ago, when Louise was only 2 and I did suffer a lot from "social pressure", parents incomprehension, and nobody-to-talk about that. So please ask for help if needed, of anykind, even with distance, sometimes words or a letter aor a little package can help to fell better? A warm warm hug to both of you from the heart.

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    1. Aw, thank you so much my friend. Your words have helped tremendously. I will be sure to reach out if/when I need to. I have felt very loved and supported throughout the last six weeks by family and friends, both near and far. I feel very lucky and blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

      I too wish you were closer, a hug, cup of tea, and chatting sounds just wonderful right about now.

      xo

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  13. I am so sorry to read this. I don't know the story behind it (nor do you need to share it), but I do hope you come out the other side of this more than okay.

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  14. Sending lots of love your way Kim! <3 You are a strong, smart, and beautiful woman. I am always here if you need anything!

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    1. Thank you Tiffany. I know that, and you can be sure I will touch base if I need to. Thanks my friend. xo

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  15. I am so so sorry to hear this! I've been through a divorce and I know how hard it can be. But, you will find your way and be happy again. I promise! Thinking of you and Reece and wishing you both all the best.

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    1. Thank you Diane. It has been difficult in so many ways, but I do feel like I am slowly finding my footing on this new path, and while I know there are still many hard days ahead, I am feeling very supported and loved by both family and friends.

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  16. You bring so much light, peace and courage into this world. I hope all are streaming back to you these days. xo

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    1. Aw, my friend, thank you for your kind words. You have been an amazing support to me through all of this, and I honestly don't know what I would have done without you. Big hugs coming to you, and so much gratitude. xo

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  17. I don't always comment on your posts, but I always, always read them. Light, love and peace to you and Reece, thinking about you both from Australia xx

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    1. Hello Shanna! Thank you my friend, I so appreciate your kind words. xo

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  18. Kim, I've only just read this. I am so sorry. Love and hugs to you and Reece. xxoo

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  19. Kim, I'm sorry. I'm always here for you if you ever want to talk. I know we don't know each other well, but if you ever need me, please feel free to email me.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer, I will be sure to do that. Believe it or not, some of my greatest support through this has come from people I have never met in person, but know through our blogs. This blogging community is amazing, and I am so very blessed to have made so many wonderful connections through this space.

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  20. Oh Kim I was so sorry to hear your news I hope the new moon will bring lots of hope and strength to you and Reece!

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  21. Aww Kim, I am so sorry to hear that. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to adjust everything, but I believe you are a strong woman and will be able to get through this. Wish I lived closer to give you a hug in person...

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    1. Yes, this was a big curve ball, but the adjustments are happening already. I didn't really have much time to get used to it all, had to jump into action and get things figured out, but slowly everything has been figured out, and I feel much stronger moving forward.

      Thank you.

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  22. Love you my dear, dear friend. Hugs to you and to Reece.

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    1. Thank you Tracey, I can feel that hug. xo

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  23. My dearest friend, there are no words I can offer you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Reece as you go through this intensely difficult time. May you have love and joy in abundance along your path. xo

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  24. I just sat down to write you a letter and see how you were doing. Much love my dear one.

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    1. Thank you KC. I just saw your email, will get back to you shortly. xo

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  25. Oh my. It has been a bit since my last check in here. So as I come here for my solace to catch up on reading, I'm taken aback. I don't know what to say ...but that I have found strength here in your site many many times...because of the strong soul that you are. I wish for you and send you so much love and blessings through this path. I am thinking of you and Reece. May your strength and inner beauty guide you through. Sending hugs tonight.

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    1. Oh Jen, thank you for your very kind words, I appreciate them so much. Feeling those hugs, and the love that comes with them. xo

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  26. I remember you writing a week or so ago that October had not been a good month for you but I would never have expected the reason. You have been in my thoughts a lot since then perhaps somewhere in my mind I knew it was something big. I know I am a long way away but if there is anything I can do even from here you know where I am. Whatever the future brings for you Kim, I hope you can find the strength to navigate the way through to the path that you will take you into the future. I will holding you and Reece in my thoughts.

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    1. Yes, this was the reason. Such a hard and difficult month, and one I won't soon forget. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I have felt the love coming at me from around the world, and it has been very comforting.

      I will definitely let you know if there is something you can do. It has never been easy for me to ask for help, but this experience has made it easier, and so many people have stepped up to support me, it has been amazing.

      Thank you. xo

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  27. I'm sorry Kim. I hope for the best for you, Reece, and Justin.

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  28. Oh Kim I can't even begin to imagine how shattered your world has felt but I trust and have faith in your constance and your courage and I know that brick by brick you will build it up again. And in the meantime our prayers and love for you and Reece x

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    1. Shattered is a very good word for it Carie. This was so very unexpected, and hit me like a ton of bricks. I am slowly seeing the light again, starting to rebuild, and finding my footing in this new normal.

      Thank you, I appreciate that, and can feel all the love coming our way. Everyone has been so amazing. xo

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  29. Oh Kim, I am very sorry to hear your news. What a shock! Sending you all the love for your next steps xxx

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    1. Thanks Kelly. And yes, a shock for me too :(

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  30. oh Kim...I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through...please know that I am thinking about you and sending you strength and love you might need to help you through this. I can forward my email and my address and my phone number if you need someone on the other end...let me know xoxo

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    1. Thank you Erica, that means so much to me. I appreciate your thoughts. Yes, send along that information, it would mean so much to have someone else to connect with through this. xo

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  31. oh my goodness~ what a storm you are weathering right now! I imagine it must be so challenging to not only have to be slugging through your own feelings and tending (as best you can) to your own needs, but to be there for Reece as he deals with it all in his own way as well. I very much hope that things settle down for you in the very near future, and that on the other side is peace and acceptance and a new and good start for all involved. sending love from NC. xo

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    1. You have no idea Amanda, but the good news is that I am weathering it :) It hasn't been as challenging as you might think, as I only told Reece this week. Justin was living here until Wednesday this past week, so we didn't tell Reece anything until he left. I had six weeks to process, to cry, to get it all out, to create a plan for moving forward, and so on before telling Reece. It was good actually as it put me in a good place to be fully there for Reece. I feel much stronger now then I did six weeks ago, and every day it gets a little better.

      Things are slowly settling, and Reece and I are finding our new norm. I have become very good at acknowledging the anger and bitterness, and then letting those feeling go, as they don't serve me well at all. And with that has come acceptance too, for what was, what happened, and the new path I am about to embark on. It will still take time, most likely a lot of time, to heal, but I am seeing the light, and that feels so darn good.

      xo

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  32. I am so sorry Kim. This must be so hard for you. Especially hard as you have your sweet son to care for whilst dealing with your own painful emotions. One thing I know for sure is, we all struggle but you are a truly wonderful Mom. You will be in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult season. xx

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    1. Yes, so very hard, but I am beginning to see the light, and although I know there will be many bumps along this path, I feel strong, and ready to meet the challenges.

      Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, they are so very much appreciated. xo

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  33. I was just checking in on my blog reading list before poping out to send you some long over due correspondance when I saw this post. So sorry to hear this Kim.
    Sending you strenght and love across all the miles.
    Emma

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  34. I send you so much love, and I remember you in my prayers every day.
    I wish it can help..and I am sure that your beautiful and strong soul will guide you through this difficult time.

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    1. Aw, thank you my friend. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. Thank you for your very kind words, and for all the emails. You have been a wonderful support through this. xo

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  35. I am so sorry, Kim. It's never easy when life doesn't work out the way we envisioned--especially with something so monumental as our life's partner.You seem like a really strong, focused woman, and I know you'll get through this. Hang in there.

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  36. Dear Kim,

    I just now read this, and want to tell you I am sorry and will be thinking of you and Reece.
    When things in life don't turn out the way we have imagined or dreamed about, it is really hard to shift focus, to re-gear and to find new goals, new rhythms...
    There is not much more I can say, just that I am sending thoughts of love and light and peace your way. From what I know of you, just from this blog, I sense that you will make it through this storm with your head held high. I wish you all the support that you need from loved ones surrounding you and that you and Reece continue to forge the strong bonds that you have had throughout the years.

    Much love from Germany, Sylvia

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    1. Thank you Sylvia, for your thoughts and very kind words. They are appreciated. The shift in focus has happened, new dreams, new goals are in the works, and slowly Reece and I are finding our footing in this new norm. There have been bumps, and there will be more, but I can feel already how much stronger I am, and how much stronger our relationship is.

      xo

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  37. Oh Kim, I am so sorry.
    It's an emotional roller coaster. Like others have said, balancing your needs with your sons can be challenging, but it sounds like you're dealing as well as can be expected. Having gone through a similar experience over the last few years, I'm here if you want to vent or anything else.

    You will come out on the other side with a strength you didn't know you were capable of.

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    1. Oh Darcel, you are so right, such a roller coaster ride of emotions. At least it was, things have settled a bit in that area, and I am slowly feeling peace and calm return to my life.

      Thank you for reaching out, I will definitely be in touch if/when I need to.

      And thank you for those last words, I already feel stronger than I did six weeks ago, so I can't wait to see where I am in a year :)

      xo

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  38. Sending you love, my dear! For me, opening myself up to accepting and sharing the news was one of the hardest challenges, but also so rewarding. You will see that you are surrounded by love and support!!

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    1. Thank you Taryn. Telling my first few friends was the most difficult, but also came with lots of goodness, support, love and understanding too. I already feel so loved and supported, and for that I am so very grateful.

      And thank you to you, for listening, for being a sounding board, and for sharing your story. It helped more than you know.

      xo

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  39. Oh Kim, I am so sorry to hear this. Now I understand why your October was so difficult. Marriage is such a journey--so tricky b/c it can have such highs and lows--but the journey needs two people willing to go through each of those highs and lows. You are in my prayers and I know that you and Reece will surround yourselves with the positivity, care, space and love that you need. (((((hugs)))))

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    1. Yes, it made the month of October very difficult in so many ways. Yes, two people who are willing to go through the highs and lows together, and unfortunately he wasn't.

      Thank you my friend, we have been lucky to be surrounded by so much love and positive energy. We are blessed in so many ways.

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  40. Oh my dear Kim. What a terrible surprise I have just read, my heart cries. In my marriage we also had a very difficult period (but we managed to hold on to eachother, although that also requires an lot of strengt, patience) so I can so much relate to the emotions you mentioned.
    The only thing I can do is sent you my comfort, love and strength from the other side of the ocean, as your true Dutch follower. X Patries

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    1. Oh my friend, thank you for your comment, and for sharing your story. Unfortunately there was no holding on here, he wanted to let go, and so he did. It has been hard, still is hard, but I am moving through it, and each day is a little better than the day before. I know one day I will look back on this experience as just a little bump in my journey, but right now it is so huge, and so defining.

      Thank you for all of those good things coming my way, I appreciate it, and I can feel the love all the way over here. xo

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  41. you are an amazing woman and an incredible mother. you deserve so much more. i am so impressed with your ability to always find the light. i can't even imagine how you must be feeling. i will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing wishes from oregon.

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    1. Thank you Jenny, for your sweet and kind words. I do appreciate them. It has been tough, to say the least, but I feel like there is some light starting to shine again, and I (and we, Reece and I) are starting to find our way forward, and that feels good.

      xo

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  42. Oh Kim, my heart reaches across the lakes to you and Reece. Even in this you hold your grace. You are an amazing woman. I'm glad that you will be keeping your homestead and pursuing your dreams. I wish I could give you that often longed for hug and cup of tea right now. Keep shining my friend. You are both in my prayers and heart.

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    1. Thank you my friend, for your very kind and sweet words. I would love that hug, and cup of tea, one day, okay?

      Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts, I appreciate it. xo

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