My little man turned eight a month ago, and I still can't wrap my head around it. For some reason eight feels big. Really not much has changed, well with the exception of a bit of attitude and a little questioning of authority...I mean mom really doesn't know everything does she. But somehow it all feels so different.
I watch him sleep at night, his long body almost filling the length of the bed, arms and legs splaying everywhere, I see the changes in his face, the changes that make him look more like a young man instead of my little man, but then I hear the pitter patter of his little feet on the stairs at 4am when he sneaks up to my bed to snuggle and I feel his heart beating next to mine when he reaches out to give me a hug and I know my little man is still in there. He is walking the line right now, on the edge of something new, and he is testing it, trying it on for size, but then stepping back to the safety and comfort of what he knows.
It's interesting to watch, and has me wondering why eight feels so big. Maybe eight feels so big because he seems to be changing so much these days. There is growth physically, emotionally, intellectually....it seems every day something is new or different about him. Or maybe it feels so big because he is starting to let go and find his independence. He is walking his edges, taking chances he wouldn't have taken just a few months ago. Or maybe it's that I feel like it is all going so darn fast and I just want to stop time and soak up extra moments with him. Whatever it is, eight feels big, really big.
So, when my eight year old sneaks into my bed in the early morning hours, I don't shoo him away, I pull the covers back and tell him to snuggle up, because one day soon he isn't going to sneak into my bed. And when he asks for just one more snuggle when he should be sleeping, I will walk right back into his room and snuggle him close, because one day soon he isn't going to ask anymore. And when he reaches out for a big hug, or asks me to hold him I will do exactly that, because one day soon he might not ask.
So yes, eight feels big, big in a way that makes my heart ache, big in a way I didn't imagine. My little man is growing up, in a big way, and all I can do is continue to enjoy the ride.
when he challenges you he is showing how he feels safe with you and secure in his relationship with your to test the boundaries. My daughter was quite challenging and when I would get stressed I'd chant "well no one will ever take advantage of her". I think that is true today :) I loved eight because the cognitive skills are so keen and there are the beginnings of some meaty conversations!!ReplyDelete
Yes, I totally know that, even if it all drives me a little crazy at times. In the calm after the storm I can remind myself that he lets go of all his frustrations at me because he knows I am there, and that my love will never change. That security is such a beautiful thing, and most of the time I can remain patient and calm and be the strong pillar he needs....there are times though when I falter, and then I pick myself up, apologize and try again.Delete
Yes, such wonderful conversations we are having lately, non stop talking, and so interesting.
Barreling toward that 9 year change ;)ReplyDelete
Oh yes, in a big way, he most certainly is. I have plans to return your email this weekend my friend, and was going to ask you a little bit about the nine year change. He seems to be right on schedule for it, and everything we are moving through sounds pretty right on the mark. Can't wait to chat with you about it. xoDelete
I am feeling the same way with my 8 yr. old little guy. He is the youngest of 6 boys and I *know* first hand how fast it passes. He's my last little boy and I look at my 25 yr. old oldest son and think "I blinked" and it is past. These moments are so precious. Yes, grab those snuggles while you can, because time moves so quickly and these are moments that will be treasured forever, bonding you together, but over far to quickly.ReplyDelete
Wow, 6 boys!!!! I will take your advice mama, and grabbed all the snuggled I can.Delete
Mmmm. Soak up those snuggles any chance you get. I feel the same. Why would we discourage away the snuggles when one day we will ache for just a few more? Sending lots of love today and always.ReplyDelete
Much love to you too my friend. Hope you are well. xo
Yes and yes and yes. I feel everything you have just written here and more. Such a full heart as these little ones of mine grow up in front of my eyes. And pride and joy and tears all mix together in a sort of seamless symphony. I love how your perspective is just so natural, so humble and just present in the now. I have missed your space, dear friend. Praying you are well and enjoying this time of year. xoReplyDelete
Pride, joy and tears all mix together in a sort of seamless symphony.....oh yes! Perfect description my friend, and I knew you would totally understand.Delete
Miss you too. We are well, and enjoying the season, hope you guys are too! xo
What you feel resonates in my heart my friend ... My third child, my second boy will be eight in a few days. Enjoy every moment, and anyway, those coming are so beautiful too <3ReplyDelete
How exciting! Wishing him the happiest of days. Yes, those to come are beautiful too. It's a lesson in letting go and being present, isn't it? Let go, but remember the moments of the past, and be present in the moments happening right now, in front of us.Delete
8 is big. i think it's the visual changes you are talking about. my son turned 12 in the summer. 11 didn't seem quite so different, but suddenly there are big changes again. he is getting very tall, his voice is changing, his shoulders are getting so big and broad. i keep looking at him and thinking... "when did this happen?" but just as you speak of... there are still little things that remind me he is young. for now anyway :)ReplyDelete
I think so too Jenny. I have the same thoughts almost daily...when did this happen. It's crazy, and exciting, and pulls at my heart every single day.Delete
Oh yes, enjoy those moments and snuggles! Those are also the moments that will continue to keep him close through the crazy times...nine year change, teens, etc. Right? That's what I tell myself anyways 😉ReplyDelete
Oh I will, and yes, I am hoping that is true too ;)Delete