Surrender

Life has a way of throwing us lessons, whether we are ready for them or not. I have had a ton of lessons over the last two years, but I think the biggest is surrender. Surrender is not easy for a person who always has clear goals, and all the little steps laid out to get there, but somehow when life brings us lessons it doesn't really care if something is easy or not. And so I have learned to lean into surrender, to embrace it with care, and to learn from it.

And what I have learned. Well, the biggest lesson is that the Universe always, and I mean always, has my back. I talked about the abundance in my life in my last post, and while I have done some work to welcome that abundance, a lot if it has made it's way into my life in ways I can't explain. Magical ways. People, and experiences have come into my life and left me in awe at the perfect timing, sharing with me what I need right in that moment.

That is a hard concept for a person, who feels like she seemingly has control over everything, to wrap her head around. But when the Universe keeps doing it, sending you what you need, when you need it, you accept what it has to offer, and you also learn the art of surrendering.

So, many times, more so in the last six months, I have learned to surrender. To let come to me what is intended to come, and to let go of things I thought I wanted, but didn't come to me. Now that is not to say I am not an active participant in my life. I still have dreams and goals, and every day I take another step or two towards those dreams, but I am also open to receiving the gifts of the Universe, to allowing the abundance it has to offer into my life, and to work with it instead of against it. And in doing so this new path, one I never intended to walk, is happy, bright, and full of unexpected blessings, all because I have gotten out of my own way, and surrendered.

How are you at surrendering? Do you get out of your own way and allow the Universe to share it's gifts with you?

Abundance

Hello there, it seems I have let summer pass and not stopped into this space, or yours. Sorry for my absence, it was not intentional, many times I thought to pop in with some photos, or an update, but then the day would pass and I would find myself at the end of the day wanting only to chill with a cup of tea before crashing into bed.

It has been a full summer, in so many ways, and I don't really even know where to start. Let's start with summer camp here on the homestead. It was amazing! Three days a week I hosted three different camps on my land. Tuesday was Kids Herbal Camp, Wednesday was a Nature Camp, and Thursday was an Arts and Crafts Camp. Kiddos joined me each day and together we explored in the woods, created, played, and enjoyed the beautiful July summer days. It was busy, in the best way, and I was sorry on the last day of camp that it was over. I took a week off after that, and then ran a three day camp for girls. There are really no words to describe the beauty of this camp. Young girls gathering, exploring in the woods, creating and crafting, and playing all while showing the greatest love and kindness to each other. It was a special three days, it made my heart so very happy, and on that last day when all the girls had gone home I cried....because it was over, and I so didn't want it to be over.

And since girls camp finished I have been off, enjoying time with my little man, working in the garden, putting food by, hiking, and soaking up the last bits of summer. I have been doing a little work getting ready for the launch of my new nature school in September, and preparing for my newest venture, running circles for young girls, playing a small role in guiding them through the transition from childhood to young womanhood with a program called Circle of Friends. Girls summer camp was the first step in the direction to Circle of Friends, and cemented my intentions to move forward on this journey, supporting and mentoring young girls. I have been working on this since last summer, studying online to become a mentor, and finishing my course a few months ago. I feel strongly pulled to this work, and look forward with excitement to see where it takes me.

You will notice in the photos that my little man isn't so little anymore, how exactly does that happen? I do my best to soak up every moment but still the years seem to fly by, and he changes and grows and I wonder how I missed it. This summer he passed two swimming levels, spent a lot of time with friends, soaked up a few beach days, climbed trees, hiked and explored, created and crafted, and so much more. We have been watching the Little House on the Prairie series this summer and he loves it, and we have been following Amazing Race Canada, which he is super excited about. He continues to amaze me as I watch him unfold into the beautiful human he is meant to be. Walking with him on this journey is the greatest honour, and I thank my lucky stars every day that he chose me as his mother. I still call him my little man, or my baby, but he always reminds me that he isn't my baby anymore. I remind him he will always be my baby, and he just laughs.

And me, well I hope the title of this post gives you an idea of how I am doing. I am feeling the abundance of life this summer. From the amazing support of wonderful families who support what I do here, to beautiful friends who continue to love and support me, to deepening relationships with both old and new friends, to feeling like life post divorce is coming together as the Universe intended it to. Abundance has been flowing in every direction of my life, and I have opened myself up to receiving. And that feels amazing!

In full disclosure, I will be completely honest and share with you that even with all the abundance there are still struggles, but by noticing the abundance and taking time to offer gratitude for all that has come my way, those struggles seem like little bumps in an otherwise pretty awesome journey. Single parenting is challenging at times, making ends meet financially is challenging sometimes, finding time for myself can be challenging, taking care of the demands of my homestead is challenging some days, but they are simply challenges that force me to find solutions, to think outside the box, to discover new ways to live this life I want to lead. This is the life I want to lead, I know that, and so every day I make it happen, one little step at a time. Some days are easier, some days are a little harder, but it's happening and if I focus on that I am more aware of the abundance in my life, and I can allow it to fill me up, and remind me that the struggles are just avenues to teach me to surrender and eventually they lead to growth.

So, my friends, how are you? What have you been up to this summer? I will do a little blog hopping this weekend, and take a peek to see what you have been up....so excited to catch up with all of you.

Happy weekend!!!!

Ten Things

One
The garden is planted. Seeds are sprouting. I am tending and nurturing. Truth...I spent a lot of time considering the garden this year, not my usual considerations about companion planting, what to plant, and so on, but did I actually want to plant a garden. I know, shocking! Life is full, there is lots going on and I questioned whether or not I had enough inspiration and motivation to tend and nurture from seed to harvest. At first I made the difficult decision to let it go this summer, to just sit in the beauty of summer, hit the farmers market and allow myself a bit more time and space. I am guessing you all know me better than I know myself, and already have guessed that I indeed did change my mind, and the garden is in full growing mode. I was late getting it all in, but it is done, and my heart is happy and my soul alive. What was I thinking letting the garden go? Just a small moment of crazy that quickly disappeared.

Two
That internal discussion with the garden had a lot to do with the time it takes to care for this land I call home. While my homestead is not huge, it still requires a lot of work to maintain, and that at times can seem daunting and overwhelming on my own. But then a friend steps in, offers her hubby up for a morning of chore help around here and before you know it things seem much less overwhelming. On Saturday said hubby arrived ready to work and help me out. He trimmed trees, and bushes, fixed some things on the chicken coop, and brought a happy, loving vibe to my homestead. I felt honoured and blessed to have the help, and am forever grateful to both my girlfriend for sharing her hubby, and to him for taking the time from his weekend to lend a hand. Thank you Holly and Jeremy...your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Three
While Jeremy worked around my homestead, I had the absolute honour of taking their three year old into the woods. Together their little man and I wondered the trails, followed deer tracks, searched milkweed for monarch eggs, examined scat and found animal bones, enjoyed a picnic trailside and climbed trees. I love seeing the world through the eyes of little ones, and spending time with this little person was such a joy.

Four
My little man cut his hair!!! He has been growing his hair for three years, at least, and was pretty adamant he was never cutting it. Then Monday he got up in the morning said he wanted to get his haircut and could we do today? Hmmmm...of course we can. So off we went, and he is now sporting a shaggy, short do...all his decision.

Five
Our homeschool year has wrapped up, and what a year it was. Lots of kiddos on the homestead learning, crafting and playing together. New friendships formed and other friendships deepened. It was a great year, not without it's challenges, but in those challenges we all learned and grew, adapting and changing along the way. It's all about the journey, for the kiddos and myself.

Six
I am ready for summer camp! There will be kiddos here on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for the month of July. Three different camps...herbal kids camp, nature camp and arts and craft camp. I am not sure who is going to have more fun, me or the kiddos.

Seven
There has been a lot of growth in my little business, and lots of interest about what I do on my homestead. Abundance might the word to describe all the goodness that has flowed my way. With growth also comes change, and a big change next year is a slight shift in our days here on the homestead. As more families became interested in my day to day program there was a pull inside to move from a Waldorf based inspiration to a more nature/forest school inspiration. And so beginning in September I will be making that shift, and while there will still be a Waldorf inspiration, there will be a lot more time in nature, and a deeper focus on nature connection. I am excited for this change, and can't wait to bring my ideas to fruition.

Eight
Self care....is that a priority on your to do list? Are you making yourself a priority, taking time to care for your needs? This is always a challenge, isn't it? Finding and making time for yourself comes with many emotions, the biggest one being guilt. I have learned so many things in the last few years, but the most important for myself and my little man is that I need to look after myself...and that means carving out time for the things that make my soul come alive, things that make me feel nurtured and loved, things that allow me to fill my own bucket so I can fill the bucket of others around me. Self care looks different for all of us, for me that includes time in nature, every day, it means an indulgent soak in the tub most nights with a book, it means small moments throughout the day for a deep breath and a cup of tea, it means gathering with friends to share bits and pieces about our lives, it means being creative, it means dancing and moving my body, and most of all it means tuning into my heart and listening carefully to what it needs and craves, and then making the time and space to give to myself. Are you giving to yourself, my friends?

Nine
I am nearing the end of my course with the Journey of Young Women, and my plans for my first girls circle are starting to come together. I will share more about this journey, the circles and my plans as they take shape. I am excited to work with young girls, to help, in a small way, as they move along the path from childhood to young womanhood.

Ten
Life in general has been good the last few months, my friends. Divorce has a way of throwing you into a bit of a tailspin, bringing with it uncertainty and a lot of questions about what lies ahead. In the last few months I feel like I have come out of the haze of that tailspin, finding my footing on this new path, and enjoying the ride. It still has many ups and downs, but after every thing I have been through I feel pretty confident that I can handle pretty much anything that comes my way. There have been many low points on this path, but also some pretty amazing high points. I have learned so much about myself, grown as a person and as a woman, and am excited about what lies ahead for my little man and I.

How are things in your world, my friends?

Random Thoughts

It's Friday morning of a long weekend. Little man woke at 5:30am asking me to read to him. By 6:30am he was asleep again. As I sit, waiting for him to wake, I am lost in the quiet and stillness of this morning. It was grey and looked like it might rain, but the sun is peeking out now, the birds have been active and happy at the backyard feeders, and I have moved slowly, maybe too slowly, through the morning.

Things on the homestead are moving slowly too. The gardens are a little behind, the trees seem to be taking forever to fully bloom, and it feels like the daffodils, tulips and other spring flowers are hanging out longer than ever. I am not complaining about the extra time with those beautiful flowers, just noticing that I get to enjoy them longer than usual. The slowness of it all suits me just fine, I like the slow motion version of nature, watching it unfurl before my eyes, bit by bit, leaf by leaf. It's a magical dance. The one thing that hasn't slowed down is a certain little man who insists on growing up a little more each day.

It goes without saying, that yes, children grow up, it's what they do. I can't stop it, I can't slow it down, it happens and I have absolutely not control over it. What I do have control over each day is what I choose to focus on. I have this quote sitting on the sill of my kitchen window:

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." ~ Annie Dillard

It's sits in a frame, and at least three times a day when I do dishes, I read it. It usually gets read more than that, but at least three times a day, without fail. And it is the perfect and constant reminder that what I choose to focus on, what I choose to do, how I choose to live each day is how I will spend my life.

So, no, I can't slow down how fast my little man is growing. I can't slow down the days, the moments, the minutes to soak them up more fully. What I can do is make a conscious decision to live my days slowly, to be present and mindful, to make choices that allow space to witness the everyday, ordinary moments that make up life, my life. Because, yes, that quote has so much truth behind it. How I spend each day, is how I spend my life.

How are you spending your days, friends?

Right Now

:: My home is quiet, little man is still sleeping, the birds are chirping and the sun is shining bright

:: I am enjoying a second cup of coffee and the quiet, alone time

:: I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have visited this space...how did that happen?

:: The glow of yesterday's beautiful summer like day is still lingering in my mind

:: My body is sore, a good sore, from working in the garden

:: There are fresh flowers on my table...purple tulips

:: In the garden daffodils, tulips and more are blooming

:: The rooster is waking every creature in the forest surrounding us

:: I am thinking about the day ahead, making plans, leaving space to just be

:: There is gratitude in my heart

:: I am happy

What's happening in your "right now", my friends? 

Simple Pleasures

Simple. Slow. Intentional. Mindful. Present.

Those are the words that I choose to live by. The words I choose to guide me as I navigate my way along this path called life. As with any path, there are detours, obstacles, barricades that get in the way, that cause us to stumble, but I am always brought back to these words and this weekend was a reminder of just how full and happy my heart is when my life is guided by these words.

This weekend was a quick visit with a friend who just had a baby. It was a walk along the waterfront, tea in hand, chatting with a friend. It was a Saturday night movie with my little man. It was waking to sunshine and a beautiful day, birds chirping, and the garden calling. It was time spent outside hanging laundry, tidying the yard, uncovering garden beds, and soaking up the sunshine. It was listening to two boys plan and start creating a treehouse. It was a cup of tea on the front porch with a friend. It was an after dinner walk with my little man. It was perfection.

This weekend was all the words I choose to guide me. It was simple, slow, intentional mindful and present. It was simple pleasures, of the best kind, filling me up and reminding me why I choose to surround myself with the people I do and why I choose to live the life I lead.

I needed this reminder, I needed to come back to these guiding words, I needed to stop, and enjoy the simplicity of the every day. And I did just that, and I am grateful I was open to receiving and accepting the message.

How was your weekend, friends?

Spring

The days are getting longer, the sun shines bright well past dinner, and the sunrises lately...stunning! I am a lover of all seasons, each one provides my heart and soul with joy. I have mentioned before that what I enjoy the most though, is the shift in the seasons; the in-between days when Mother Nature gifts us a little look at what is to come. It's in the shifts that I find the greatest joy, the farewell of what was, and the welcoming of what is to come. In the dark, cold days of winter the spring seems so far off, but then a day like yesterday glows bright and with it a reminder. In the shift Mother Nature reminds us that the dark and cold will eventually move to warmth and light. She sits in the dark, draws inward, reflects and when she is ready she steps back into the light, the abundance. And we, just like her, do the same. Our lives are a mixture of dark and light; without the dark we wouldn't truly appreciate the light; without winter, we can't truly appreciate the return of spring.

Soak it up, my friends. Dance in the sunshine, play in the puddles of melting snow, turn your face to the light and let it fill you up.

Happy Spring Equinox!